I missed my ‘Hello May’ post and I’m only just realising this, but too late now. May was a big learning curve. May taught me a lot about where I want to be in five years time and while I’m still coming to terms with some of these choices, I do feel somewhat more settled than I did before, but I’ll post about that later!
So, Hello June! Please be kind.
It’s been a while! Mostly because I just don’t know what to say. There have been so many pitfalls since I last posted and it’s been hard trying to keep myself from dwelling on all that isn’t going right and instead focusing on what is.
But, as of last night, New Zealand is moving down to level one! We have no active cases of Covid 19 and are 17 (or 18?) days free of any new/suspected cases. It doesn’t really change much for me, but it does mean I feel less anxious about being out in public and going to places on my own.
This month we’ll finally say goodbye to my poppa. He passed in April during the level four lock down meaning we couldn’t have a funeral or even go be with my Nan during this time. Even though we knew it was coming, it was still a blow. Especially seeing as we couldn’t all go down as soon as the lock down lifted allowing domestic travel. By the time we see her, it will have been two months since he passed and I feel so much guilt that we couldn’t go sooner.
The world is a shambles right now and there are so many people hurting. It’s really hard to fathom all that is happening between covid and the protests overseas. I’m not going to pretend to understand how others are feeling right now, I know I will never understand, but I’m here, I will listen and learn. I will continue to share resources, links, anything to spread awareness and donate when I can, most of this is done through Instagram. I have had a lot of arguments with people in my personal life when it comes to racism and why it’s so important for us kiwis to speak up as well. It has shown me just how narrow minded some of the people I was surrounding myself with are and (this is part of the changes I’m currently making) has given a little wake up call.
June has always been a tough month for me. I lost my Nana June 2006, the one person who continuously showed me her support and love. So while I feel more positive about a lot of aspects of my life, that reminder still makes this month hard.
With New Zealand slowly opening back up, I’m hoping that a lot of the things I ordered pre-lock down may reach me a little quicker once they enter the country. It’s still a slow process which is completely understandable, but in saying this, I am trying to support more local businesses as well. It’s been nice searching for different places to shop for things that are a lot closer to me. I’m considering posting on some of these different places at a later date.
I have three planned posts coming up, one was meant to be for mental health awareness, but I didn’t feel up to posting it, the second is what I read in May and the third is about an upcoming domestic trip I’m planning. I’m actually going on three different domestic trips, so I may just do a post for each different place. I’m very much looking forward to exploring my own backyard a bit more and doing a lot of the things I’ve been putting off because the timing never felt right.
Thanks for sticking with me!
-The Invisible Writer
The Invisible Writer 